The Shared Space of Grief

The Shared Space of Grief

By Elisa Morgan

As I left my friend’s home and stopped at the traffic light, I considered the two routes home: the freeway through the city or the picturesque road through the country. It was spring, the countryside would be green, and I loved that trek so even though my map showed it to be slower, I chose the curvy country road. I was rewarded with lush meadows, budding trees and puffy white clouds across the blue Colorado sky.

Then I rounded a bend to a surprising scene.

In the middle of the two-lane road, a prairie dog had met its demise. Squished flat, it lay there unmoving. That wasn’t the surprising part. Sadly, such occurrences are common on the backroads. What surprised me was the second prairie dog, standing perfectly erect exactly next to the deceased one. His/her frozen posture stunned me, and I was immediately struck by the realization that these two creatures were linked to each other. Mates? Parent/Child? Clan members? Bosom friends?

By the time I arrived for a closer look, the still living animal had dashed away from my oncoming danger. But the scene lingered with me, the image frozen in my mind. Curiously, I wondered at the animal’s posture.

A salute? Was the little one somehow showing respect or honor for the life of the other?

A warning? Maybe it was body-shouting “steer clear!”

An SOS? Could it have been sirening for emergency help?

A PTSD stupored reaction?

Or might this little one - mate, parent, offspring or clan member - simply be offering an instinctive gesture of recognition for a life lived and now gone.

I’ve been present at many terminal bedsides, a few deaths and uncountable life remembrance services. Loved ones variously sing, weep, wail and share memories. Shoulders may stoop. Voices may hush. Hands may lift. There is no formulaic one way to grieve.

But there is the universal reality that we who survive are undeniably altered when we lose another.

It’s been said that grief needs a witness. To acknowledge its reality. To share the weight. To reflect back the severity. To honor the value of the life that is gone.

I’ve known this to be true. When grief becomes a shared space, the heart is not necessarily lifted but it is acknowledged to be truly experiencing what it is experiencing. The loss is made real.

I drove on considering…It would seem that even prairie dogs know this to be true.

Elisa Morgan is the author of Fruitful Living. She is the cohost of the podcast, God Hears Her. She is also the cohost of Discover the Word and contributor to Our Daily Bread. Her other books include Christmas Changes Everything, You are Not Alone, When We Pray Like Jesus, Hello, Beauty Full, and The Beauty of Broken. Connect with Elisa @elisamorganauthor on Facebook and Instagram.