When Fear Hits My Heart

Kelly Balarie describes a scene just about all of us have lived through. Read on and discover that healing for your rejected soul is indeed possible - as well as access a resource that God might use for just such an outcome.


When Fear Hits My Heart

By Kelly Balarie

Has your heart ever been broken by a woman?

Mine has.

I remember standing on a softball field so many years ago - new at an all-girls school where their bonds from middle school already seemed tightly formed.

Could I make my way here?

I gave it my best shot. I practiced with intensity, hit every ball with power and ran so hard I felt like I might faint. Near buckling at my knees, I didn't care - every move was a silent message to this new world: I am impressive, beautiful and desirable.

My effort will make them love me. My worth here, will prove me worthy of love. I will belong to this club - even if it kills me ...

Sweaty, panting and constantly smiling, eventually I made headway with the girl with the constantly swinging brown ponytail. She was nice. I was happy. We continued talking.

We will be great friends - me and brown ponytail girl. I was certain of it.

But, that wouldn't happen, I would come to find out. You see, blond ponytail girl - the real all-star leader of this pack, had other plans: plans to point a finger at me from afar, plans to whisper, plans to grab brown ponytail girl's hand, plans to pull her away, and plans to crush me.

Brown ponytail girl no longer gave me the time of day.

So, I gave up and stopped trying. I was cut from the team.

Then, I gave up on the school. I left it the next year, taking home with me the lesson: Women hurt women. Fear them.

Have women also scarred you on the inside? In that place where no one can see, but you can always feel? In a way that makes you fear being hurt again?

You are not alone with your scars. Women hurt women, but here is the amazing part: women, through Christ, also can heal women. Our stories, our lessons, our insight, our biblical truths - they bring light and life.

There is power in the radical realization that we are not alone in our struggle. We best fight fear, when we remind each other God is near. And, through vulnerability, we access new dependability on God.

Healing happens in comforting quiet with God, but it also happens in the common conversations with women. Might you want to discover the freedom God has for you, through the courage-building stories of other women? And find healing today?

Join Kelly, Elisa and more than 30 other speakers online at The Journey Together Summit, June 5-8, 2017.

Author and Speaker, Kelly Balarie didn't always fight fear - for a large part of her life, she was controlled by it. Yet, in her book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears, with God, Kelly charts a new course. Visit her on her blog, Purposeful Faith. You can also find a variety of resources for your fight against fear at www.fearfightingbook.com. Don't forget to take part in The Journey Together Summit.

© Elisa Morgan 2020

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