By Elisa Morgan
When I became a mom, I had no idea who I was. Oh, I had known who I was - in the months and years before becoming "Mom." But when babies were placed in my novice arms, first a tiny girl and then a wee boy, I looked into the mirror of my mornings with no idea of who I was any more and wondering what had happened to "me." And oh, my! The drama of being the "dependable" one for the tadpoles under my care! I was anything but ready. Who had put me in charge after all? I was terrified, alone and drowning in inadequacy.
My first mom friend was a mommy some five years older than me and ten years beyond my experience. She deftly managed carpooling and PTO and grocery shopping and meal-making and church stuff. AND she knew how to have an adult conversation about woman-weary needs and grown-up groanings. When I dipped my toe into the lap pool of my ordinary neediness, she waded in as well, towing her humanness along - but more like water wings that buoyed her being instead of dragging her down as mine did.
I memorized her every move. How did she stay afloat, much less make her way from one side to the other with such grace?
In those years, my first mom friend taught me essential lessons:
No one else knows what they're doing as moms.
Don't worry about doing the mom thing perfectly.
Just get up every morning and try.
We need each other.
I am not alone.
If you're a mom, where did you make your first mom friend? If you're not a mom, who did you connect with as a "me too" friend on the journey of life? And what, exactly made her one? Sameness, for sure. A similarity of day-to-day structure where there is never enough of me to go around to all the needs of them. Fun, yes. A giggly eye-roll of understanding. And absolutely: safety. A sure-enough dependable place to pour it all out. All. Of. It.
I'm just returning from MOMcon, an annual rollicking party of leadership training instigated by MOPS International where I served as its leader for a few decades in my most vulnerable mom years. I'm filled to full with the all-new but never-old experience of moms being there for each other - the same, fun and safe.
My prayer for you is my prayer for me: May we ever come to understand that we were placed on this earth for each other. That life is not to be lived alone, but rather, to be explored and understood and experienced and enjoyed ... together.
Never more so than when we are leading others along who are dependent on us to know where we're headed. Mom friends become the lighthouses in the night, sounding whether we are close to shore or afar. Beckoning us into the harbor of home where we can continue our nurturing callings. Together. So true for all of us as women!
Elisa Morgan is an author and speaker and the cohost of Discover the Word and contributor to Our Daily Bread. Her books include The Beauty of Broken, Hello, Beauty Full, and She Did What She Could. Connect with Elisa @elisa_morgan on Twitter, on Facebook and elisamorganauthor on Instagram.